Shaving Cream
by Sangfroid
Summary: One-shot humor-fic. Rivendell is all a-panic, elves running hither and thither, and poor mortal Aragorn is caught in the middle- but what could have the Elves in such a riot? Well, it's not Orcs, I'll give you that much.


This was written in response to a conversation started over Any's Elrohir picture. A particular plot bunny had been bothering Niniel, and she had enough bunnies nibbling at her feet as is... so, I.. erm... adopted... it. Or, it adopted me. This may not be entirely canon (in fact, I doubt it is at all- forgive me), but hey- it was too good to resist.

Title: Shaving Cream

Author: Erin

Rating: G

Spoilers: None that I can think of.

Category: humor

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings- I just get to obsess about it day and night.

Thanks To: Any for drawing her beautiful Elrohir picture and starting this blunny (If you would like to see the picture, e-mail me and I'll send it to you. My e-mail is, remove the spaces e e r r o s s at c o m c a s t d o t n e t) and Niniel, for feeding it until it was ready to be adopted.

Rivendell. Imladris. The Last Homely House. A quiet haven, open to all who wished for a better, more peaceful world. Gigantic libraries containing the best collections of books in all of Middle Earth dotted the complex. Imladris was the perfect haven for someone who wished to relax.

Rivendell. Imladris. The Last Homely House... was in disarray.

Pottery shattered as Elves brushed down the hall with none of their usual gracefulness. Screams could be heard, and a frantic fistfights broke out over pillows. Papers flew through the air.

It was to this scene that Aragorn awoke. The Ranger jumped out of the chair he had comandeered for his nap, and tried to hail a passing Elf, "Excuse me! Excuse me! Tyren!"

Estel grabbed the said Elf from by the shoulder, and pulled him out of the flood of Elves, "Let me go, Estel. Let me go! I don't want to have to hurt you."

Estel sighed, and turned Tyren so he was looking in his eyes. "Tyren. Listen to me. Calm down. Why is everyone running? Are we being attacked? Orcs?"

"No. Worse."

"What? Tyren, tell me."

"Elrohir... he's shaving."

That set Aragorn back on his heels, "Tyren. Don't joke with me. What's going on?"

"Look, Estel, I told you. Elrohir is shaving. Now let me go." The Elf struggled against Estel's firm grip.

"Tyren." Strider said firmly, in a voice that demanded attention, both strong and calm at the same time, "Tell me why this is so bad."

"You're too young to remember what happened last time they shaved. They don't have much shaving experience, as they only shave every thousand years or so... They kept nicking themselves! My ears were ringing for weeks." Tyren touched his sensitive Elven ears for to emphasize his point.

Aragorn winced, and released Tyren, "Go. Take the pillow from my room."

"What about you?"

Aragorn smiled, "I'm human, remember? Round ears."

Tyren nodded, and rejoined the flood of Elves, trying to put as much distance between himself and the middle son of Elrond as possible. He glanced over his shoulder, "You shall have to teach them how to do it properly some time." And he was gone, sweapt away in the stampeding Elves.

Two hours later, Aragorn was leaning with vague amusement on the wall next to Elrohir's bedroom door. The random screams of pain had stopped a few moments ago, and Aragorn assumed it was safe to be this close to the door without risking permanent hearing loss.

The Elves were slowly crawling out from their various hiding places. Some were removing earwax from their ears, others tissues. Some, like Tyren, were slowly emerging from underneat piles of pillows.

The door slowly creaked open, a tall figure creeped out, cowl up. He looked down the hall, and back up again, making his way down the hallway in a way he hoped wouldn't draw attention to him. The figure's hopes were shattered.

"Elrohir."

The Elf whirled around. "Estel? I didn't hear you come by."

"No, my brother, I'd say you didn't." Estel tried to contain his laughter.

"I was that loud, huh?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"I brought you some shaving cream. Guess I was a bit late."

If Estel had been able to see Elrohir's eyes, he would have seen them rolling, "Really, Estel? I didn't notice."

Aragorn paused, and glanced his brother up and down. "Hood down."

"What?"

"Hood down. You made a good deal of noise. And while I wouldn't put it past you, I doubt that you were just screaming for the fun of it."

Elrohir obliged. Estel snorted. Elrohir glared. Estel laughed. Elrohir scowled. Estel grinned. Elrohir spoke. "Not. A. Word."

Estel laughed again- after all, it wasn't every day you saw an Elf with thirty or so bits of tissue paper attatched to his face. "Oh- don't worry. I won't. And- brother- I know that you are serious. I could hear those full stops between your words."

Estel was saved at that moment from whatever fate his brother had planned by Elladan, sweeping down the hallway, followed by the rest of the Elves, "Is it safe?"

Aragorn nodded, "Safe as it can get with you two around here."

Elladan paused, tapping his brother ont he shoulder, "Oh- Elrohir?"

"Yes?"

"I'm getting a bit of stubble. Can I borrow your razor?"

Yes, Aragorn mused, sometimes there were definate advantages to being a human.

Well, tell me what you think and all that good stuff.


End file.
